Monday, March 31, 2008

Rivertrout Returns for No Apparent Reason


Dearest Patrons and Matrons; friends, Romans and countrymen; and fish:

It is upon the recommendation of many (one (1)) that I embark upon this--how you say--"blog" to report on the happenings in the life of that most precocious of cartilage-spined creatures, the River Trout.
Thought-provoking image of vegetable kebabs against
crystalline sea.

The River Trout began dispatching missives on the finer points (one (1)) of life in Minnesota some nine years ago, when he found himself trapped in that undesirable location for the purpose of sitting through three years of sheer torture. When we left our scaly hero, he had just graduated from the first stage of that torture, law school, in the hopes of aspiring to the most noble of stations: First Year Associate/Collating Specialist. In other words, he jumped from the frying pan into the fire. These many years later (six), it occurs to the River Trout that graduating may not have been such a hot idea, after all.

Nevertheless, he's back, fishier than ever. And this time, the Trout brings a small army to back him--like Rambo, but more of them. Alongside the wily River Trout you'll find a beautiful wife and daughter, a dog, the world's most appreciative grey tabby cat (codename: "f---in' cat!"), and a servant named Chachi, who is schooled in the martial arts and advanced tactical warfare (ok, made that last part up). These characters remain anonymous at the request of the River Trout's security detail (except Chachi, who, like the security detail, does not technically exist), but will, no doubt, appear in future entries. In said entries, they will assume their own unique code names--sometimes several different code names day-in and day-out--depending on what trouble they may have gotten into that day.

The cat's code name will, most likely, stay fairly consistent.

So with that, there will be writing. Thoughtful commentary. Quality authorship. Just as soon as I have a chance to blackmail someone into doing those things for me.

Peace.